As a new mom, I was looking forward to my new bundle of joy. I was ready to hug, kiss, play with my baby and be happy...Then reality hit. "Why is my baby always cranky"?... "Why is she so upset"?..."Why is she not sleeping"? "Why is she always crying"? The questions were endless. I kept hearing the word COLIC (<link) thrown here and there when I mentioned my situation to friends so I decided to do my research. I was surprised with what I found. I knew nothing about colic before that day.
My mom was working pretty much 24/7 and my child's father worked as well. The little that he was around did not seem to help. I complained/ vent to family and friends, but they did not have the answers. All I heard was "she will grow out of it"... They tried. I read articles online about families going through the same thing. Though it eased my mind a little to know I was not alone, it didn't really help.
My baby was unhappy... I was unhappy. The only thing I could do was pray. I pray to God like he is my best friend. I just talk to him like he's sitting across the room. You don't have to be a professional prayer master to have a relationship with Him. *sigh* I would get angry at my baby and angry at myself for getting angry. I would leave her screaming to the top of her lungs in her bassinet and go to the other room and scream to the top of mines. It helped me from doing things I would regret. I also had to remember that she was a new born and she did not ask for this. So whenever I got upset with her, I would call on His name and ask for help and patience.
You may find this very cold...but I had a hard time loving my child at the very beginning. I know... It seemed like nothing I did helped. I was trying so hard and she was still unhappy. At one point I almost gave up. I had to remember that she was counting on me and depending on ME to take care of her. How selfish was I?
It did get better over time... over a very long time it seemed. She started to be more aware, looking at me lovingly. It was around the time I started to breast feed exclusively. Then there was a smile and a glitter in here eyes.
My experience with my colicky baby was rough. It was one of the most difficult times in my life. I am so grateful that I have a relationship with God. I am so thankful I have a mother that was there for me. She picked up every call and answered every text when I needed to talk. And I know she prayed very hard on our behalf. Thank you mom. To my friends that offered advice, I thank you too.
My advice to anyone going through this, be patient... PRAY about it. Try not to complain too much because it makes matters worse. Do not cry and get angry in front of your child, make sure he/she is safe and go to another room for a couple of minutes. Ask for help. Do not wait for people to come to you. Picture you baby laughing and smiling. Do not shake or hit your baby, remember they are counting on you to protect and love them.
God is so good!!